Change

I like change. I really do. There will be a lot of change for me in the next year and a half. I feel positive about it. Some people are saying negative things. I hate negativity. So, I'm cool and looking forward to the change.

Lake of the Ozarks here I come! Tomorrow I leave for a weekend of fun. Sweet.

Today I've been motivated to do jack crap. I'm tired. That's it. Weak post, I know.

Recipe you say?

So, some unknown reader asked for the cucumber salad recipe. I'd love to give it, as I'm a sucker for exact recipes, but this recipe was given to me by my mom, who got it from my grandma, who got it from her mom, etc etc. It's not difficult. It's easy. It's good. I'll do my best. This is how I make it.

4 large tomatoes

4 cucumbers

1 medium onion

vinegar

sugar

water

slice the tomatoes in chunks, slice the cucumbers, and slice the onions in thin, short slices. In a separate dish, mix up your vinegar dressing. Start with about 1 1/2 cups of vinegar, and 4 tablespoons of sugar. Add about 1 cup of water. Once you've done that, it comes down to taste. Mix everything together and decide what it needs more of. It should be a sour/sweet/bitter taste. Then, chill. Overnight is best.

So, there you go folks.

Sunday Funday

The new deck is about 1/2 way from being done. My Uncle David came over to kick things into high gear! As soon as the deck gets done, I can start planning a new deck party. Woohoo!

So even though today is Sunday, and tomorrow I'm off, I can't help but think about work. Next week is going to be really hectic and to be really honest, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. We have a rate change that goes into effect on the 31st, so all of my projects have to be converted over before then. Because Monday is a holiday, that puts me a day behind anyway, because all the things I do on Monday, get pushed to Tuesday, etc etc etc. I just hope I'm able to get everything done smoothly, quickly, and without incident.

Friday a bunch of us are going down to Lake of the Ozarks to my friend Dave's summer house. I'm looking forward to it. Riding the jet ski, going to the party cove, overall just having a great time with friends. Good stuff.

Then, the weekend after that is my sister's wedding. I'm so excited about it. She's going to be a beautiful bride. I keep trying to work out what I'm going to say during the toast, but every time I start thinking about it, I tear up. It's a weird feeling for me because she's my baby sister, and we're so close. I'm sure I'll just wing the toast, but either way I'm pretty sure that I'll cry. I'll be glad when it's over though.

In other news, I still don't have the vacation pictures up. I'm a slacker. I can't help it. They'll be up soon enough. Hold your horses.

Yesterday I went with the family to the West County Greek Festival and then we went to Blueberry Hill to see my step-brother's band play. Good times.

Now, I must go to the store to get groceries. I'm going to make cucumber salad to take to the BBQ tomorrow. Yum!

F'in Perverts

Listen you little assholes. Stop googling me with your booty rockin everywhere searches. You may see my picture, but don't think you're going to see my booty rockin' everywhere. I save those pictures for the paysite. TEEHEE.

Give Me Something To Believe In

Today I couldn't shake the feeling of anger and disappointment I have developed toward the TSA and the government as a whole. The more I thought about the lip gloss incident, the more it pissed me off. That got me thinking about accountability, and inconsistency, and how people basically suck, and you know when you're mind goes there, nothing good can come out of it. Anyway, for the most part, I did a lot of thinking during my first day back from vacation. A few minutes ago I came to the conclusion that I am going to start holding people accountable. I am. Trust me, when I put my mind to something, it is so. I'm tired of excuses. I'm tired of blame. Accountability is the new game I play. Be prepared people, be prepared. I have already warned those close to me that it is very possible I could be spending my very first time in jail from my new found accountability project. They're prepared. So don't say I didn't warn you.

Other than continuing to harbor more ill feelings toward the TSA, I did actually accomplish some work today. After work, I went to a party and then went to Syberg's with Kara & Lori. Unfortunately the place was infested with young, blond sorority girls and we left. If there's one thing I hate worse the the TSA, it's cookie cutter, young, blond sorority girls. I took my happy ass home after that. Exciting, I KNOW.

I'm bound and determined to have a good weekend. Tomorrow my step-brother-in-law's (don't ask) band is playing at Blueberry Hill. 9pm. Check them out. They rock out with their cocks out. Well, not really. Maybe if you ask nicely. I don't know. Dozemarypool. Do it.

Viva la blog post revolution. (Don't ask.)

I have nothing more to say right now that doesn't involve Fuck the TSA, fuck the Hancock lawsuit, or fuck sorority girls. Night!

The Hancock Family vs EVERYONE

Have you read this yet? If you haven't, do it now.

Let me be one of the first to say, What The Fuck? Just to recap, in case you didn't read it, Former Cards pitcher, Josh Hancock's family is suing Mike Shannon's, the tow truck company, the tow truck driver, and the accident victim whom the tow truck was helping. Why? Because apparently they all contributed to their son's untimely death. Now, call me silly, but can someone please explain to me why all of these people/businesses are to blame? Hancock was speeding, not wearing his seat belt, he was over the legal limit, talking on a cell phone, and one can only assume he was high, considering they found reefer in his vehicle..oh wait, the RENTAL vehicle he was driving because his vehicle was involved in an accident some days before. Oh man. The whole situation is just utterly fucking ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand the loss the family is feeling, and the need to want to put blame and anyone and everyone but their son, but come on. Seriously?

Why is it, that we live in a world where it's ok to try and blame other people for our own mistakes? Hancock never should have gotten behind the wheel. Plain and simple. And while I'm probably going to sound like a cold, hateful bitch, he did it to himself. Nobody made him drive. Nobody took his seat belt off of him. Nobody held him down and force fed him drinks for 3 1/2 hours. Nobody but himself. He could have taken a cab, he could have taken a freaking limo. But he didn't, and he died. It's tragic, it's sad, it's reality. Life isn't always snowflakes and puppy dogs. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes people die. It's nobody's fault but his own.

I have a real issue with his family filing this lawsuit. Obviously, it's part of the legal system. Fair and all, but damn. What a waste of time and money. No wonder the justice system is so fucked up. We give attention to frivolous cases such as this one, yet we throw out cases that actually matter.

I hope that this case continues to get coverage. I hope people start to realize that ultimately, WE are responsible for our OWN actions. You cannot sue somebody because you lost a son, or a daughter, etc because of a stupid decision they made. It's not right. I'm so angry about this. Just angry! I can't explain it.

I think the moral of the whole Josh Hancock story is this. Don't drink and drive. Just don't do it. Call a cab, call a friend, take the metro, get a hotel room. It's sad that he died so young, but it's not Mike Shannon's fault. It's not the towing company's fault. And it most certainly isn't the accident victims fault. No, it was Josh's fault. He made a bad judgement call. Instead of suing, the family should focus more and the fact that Josh made a bad decision, and it just didn't pan out. Perhaps educating baseball fans on sober chauffeur's would be more productive than suing everyone and their dog.

If you're a blogger, I encourage you to blog your thoughts about this.

Holiday, Take Me Away!

So obviously I'm back from vacay. Yay! Or not. I love Florida. It's always a sad day when I leave Florida, or the beach. Whatever you prefer. I had an excellent time on vacay. I sunned on the beach every day, went snorkeling, went out on a boat, went to the Mote Aquarium, ate, drank on the beach while watching the sunset, went on a sunset sail, and various other activities. Good stuff. I have a kick ass tan going on. That's always good. Oh, and the other good news, I came home to a clean house! Yay for DJ Karizma the housekeeper!

So tomorrow I go back to work. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work. I miss my PM's. That's sad, I know. But what can I say? I like my job.

I'll have some pictures up in a few days. Stay tuned.

Dear TSA

I really just wanted to send you a thank you. Yesterday, before I got to the security checkpoint, I was in a fantastic mood. Then, you confiscated my Victoria's Secret lip gloss, Clinique foundation, mascara, and hand sanitizer. I like how you gave me two options. Mail them back to myself, or give them to you. Funny, I didn't have to do that when I left St. Louis. When I asked you why I didn't have to give up my lip gloss, foundation, and mascara in St. Louis, you told me that you couldn't speak for other airports. I guess I didn't realize that the TSA in St. Louis and the TSA in Ft. Meyers weren't the same TSA. How stupid of me. Geez. One might assume that the TSA is the TSA is the TSA. I guess one would be wrong. Oh, and when I asked you why you were confiscating my mascara, you told me it was a paste. I'm a little confused on the paste rule. Well, in the mascara sense. Because you didn't confiscate the 5 tubes of lipstick I had, or the stick of cover up I had. I guess what I'm getting at, is the fact that you're inconsistent. I hate inconsistency. The other funny thing about this situation is the fact that you gave me my confiscated lip gloss, foundation, mascara, and hand sanitizer and told me to walk it up to the "business office" and mail it to myself. I don't mean to sound bitchy, I would never sound that way, but I don't understand why I couldn't take my lip gloss, foundation, and mascara on the plane, but I can put it in an envelope and THEN it can go on a plane. Or, I could have put it in a plastic baggie and THEN taken it on the plane. Pardon my french, but What the fuck, chuck? So, I walked my confiscated items through the airport and spent $7.49 mailing my "dangerous" items back to myself. Then, I proceeded to go BACK through the checkpoint. It only took me 30 minutes to get back through the line. I guess I can't complain about that speedy time. It's safe to say that at that point, I was in a pissy mood. I'm sorry if my facial expressions told you that. I tried really hard to look like a good citizen, but I just couldn't pull it off.

Oh, and I'm not sure if you care or not, but you might want to send Melvin W. from the Parking Spot an apology. Because of my lip gloss confiscation, and my bad mood, I may or may not have snapped on him as he picked us up in the shuttle. I may or may not have told him to shut up and just do his job. And, I may or may not have gotten him in trouble with his boss upon returning to the garage. So, you may or may not choose to apologize to him for pissing me off.

Unfortunately, as mad as I may be at you, we will meet again. I mean, how can we not? I live in a Nazi country ran by idiots who thrive on keeping the citizens scared. So yes, we will meet again. And who knows, by that time, we may just have to take off all of our clothes and spread our cheeks. You know, in case we're hiding explosives in our asses. Because you know, if we're hiding explosives in our lip gloss, foundation, and mascara, who knows what's lurking in our orifices.

So until then TSA, I must say fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!

XoXoXo,

Dana "Lip Gloss Assassin" B

Sand Between My Toes

It's almost time! In 17 hours, I will be on a flight to Florida. Sweet! I can't wait to land and feel the hot air on my face. I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the rain showers in the late afternoon. Yay for vacation! I am almost packed. Tonight I got a manicure and pedicure and then came home and got busy packing. Tomorrow I know I will wake up itching to go.

However will you deal with my lack of updates for a week? HA. I assume like you did when I didn't update at all.

I'm feeling really tired right now. I should just go to sleep, but I'm fighting it for some reason. The vacation excitement is overwhelming.

So, tomorrow night at this time, I'll probably be drinking on the beach and feeling the sand between my toes. I hope the next 8 days are as good to you as they will be to me! See you when I'm back on Central time.

I Don't Want To

I should be packing. It lasted all of 10 minutes. I hate packing. It blows. It makes my mind crazy and my OCD kicks into high gear. It's just too much to deal with at the moment. I went shopping tonight. I love shopping. That doesn't make my mind crazy. I got 2 pairs of shorts, 4 shirts, and some make up from Clinique. Woo.

I leave on Wednesday. I realize I have tomorrow to pack too, but somehow I think tomorrow might be a bust as well. I need some damn motivation. At this point, I just want to throw my swimsuit in the suitcase with a pair of flip flops, my deodorant, and toothbrush and call it even.

Today my co-worker pissed me off because he wouldn't buy me a smoothie. He owes me a smoothie, he was just being a dick. I hate co-workers sometimes. Especially those who interrupt my iPod listening time every 2 seconds to talk to me. I HAVE MY HEADPHONES ON FOR A REASON BITCH. Sheesh. I just need a vacation badly. I'm irritable.

I'm also pissed off at the majority of my family right now. My family (minus my sister) sucks. They are inconsiderate pricks who praise teenage pregnancy, but shun college graduations. I'm glad that I consider my friends, family. Otherwise, I'd have none. Pricks.

So instead of packing, I decided to download new music. I like how I always seem to find something to do other than what needs to be done. Speaking of that, did any of you watch Desperate Housewives last night? If so, thoughts?

Must go look for more new music now. Peace!

Bitches Ain't Shit

So, as I was driving home from Matt's graduation tonight, I was listening to Celeste Blackerton and shuffled through Ben Fold's cover of Bitches Ain't Shit. While I was listening to it, I started thinking about the lyrics. I realized that they sort of pissed me off. Don't get me wrong, I like the song, but it got me thinking about the whole thing with women and men. Why is it, that when a man sleeps around with tons of different girls, he's a stud. But, if a woman sleeps around with tons of different men, she's a dirty slut? I mean, it just seems so widely accepted that women are sluts and men are studs. How redonkulous is that? Sometimes I really hate society.

That is all.

Today was a good day. Even though I didn't get enough sleep last night, I got a lot accomplished. First, I went with my mom and sis to get fitted for my bridesmaids dress. Oddly enough, the boob area was too big. I need a boob job. After that, we started shopping for my mom's dress. Then we had lunch, then we went to Lake of the Ozarks to go shopping, then we ran some errands, then we came back to Columbia and shopped some more, and then we had dinner. In a bit, my sister and I are going to run a few more errands tonight. Tomorrow is Matthew's graduation. We're all so proud of him and his Double E. Also, we got some good news today, and he has decided to accept the position he was offered in STL, soooooo yay! My sister will be living in STL in a short period of time. I'm loving life right now.

What else? I don't know. I'm extremely tired, and feeling extremely stressed (still.) So, that's about it from Columbia. Peace, love, and hair grease!

Feelin' Stressed, Yo

So, yeah. A few things here. First of all, I'm sick again. What in the hell is wrong with me? I've been "sick" on and off for the past few weeks. Lots of nasty fluid in my chest & nose, headaches, sneezing, and now I've gone and almost lost my voice. I sound like a character from Star Wars or something. My sister told me tonight that I did not even sound like her sister. WTF? I tried to call the doctor today, but I got put on hold for 10 minutes and got pissy so I hung up. Yesterday, I came home at 6:30pm and slept all the way until 7am this morning. Oh, and I finally ate tonight, after like 28 hours. And, at that, I only ate 1/2 a turkey burger on an english muffin and a little smudge of applesauce. Me and sickness just don't get along. I need to get better in, oh I don't know, 5 1/2 days. That's when I offically leave for Florida. Any advice?

In other news, besides being sick, work is kicking my ass. The sad part about that is, it's not even kicking my ass in a hard way, like it's about to. It's like the kicking ass before the beat down. When I get back from vacation, it's going to be balls to the wall busy. I might as well just bring a sleeping bag into the office. I get back from vacay, on the 23rd, I took the 24th off just for good measure, and on Friday, the 25th I'll be back in the office. Do you know I probably will work all weekend? We have a rate change that week, so I'm going to be knee deep in fuck ups and messed up plans. Sweet!

Oh, and I still haven't started packing. You know how I hate packing. Well, this weekend Matthew is graduating, so I'll be spending the weekend in Columbia with the fam. There goes my packing time. Shitsticks.

So, that's about it for now. I just got the Amy Winehouse CD. If you haven't checked her out, do it. She's jazzy and drunk. I love it! So, as Amy says, They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no no no. Peace!

Ask Me!

Courtesy of an old friend of mine, M.

1. What is your favorite toy? (This can be an actual child's toy or an adult toy)

So, right now my favorite toy would be my game boy. (Yeah, I know you got your hopes up for an adult toy. Suck it.) I play my game boy like it's going out of style. And, actually, it did go out of style because the only game I ever play is old school Tetris. No comments please. I like it, I love it.

2. What do you like to do most in your spare time?

Ha! Spare time! Like I have it. No, honestly in my spare time, I like to shop, read, or hang out by the water. I can do the pool, the lake, or a river.

3. What annoys you most?

This is a toss up. I actually have 2 things that annoy me the most. First, people who take the elevator 1 floor up. This irriates me to no end. And I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but it always seems like it's the really over weight people who take the elevator 1 floor up. This especially annoys me at work, in the parking garage. 1 floor = about 10 steps. GAh! The second thing that annoys me the most is when people don't have the balls to tell you yes or no. Now, I know there are times when you really, honestly don't know. However, trust me kids, I know when you're bullshitting. It's either yes or no. There is no maybe. I also hate the tentative option in Outlook. Complete, 100% bullshit.

4. Who is it your favorite Cardinal of all time and why?

Wow, this is a really tough question. Obviously I'm a huge Cardinals fan, and love every one of them..well, not every single one, but most of them. I guess I can answer this 2 fold. My favorite player of yesteryear is Ozzie Smith. I think he's my favorite because he was such an awesome player and he always let his personality shine through. I think that made him stand out so much because so often baseball players turn off who they really are to play the game. I think Ozzie took it to the next level by being a great player, AND letting his personality shine. My favorite player of today is Albert Pujols. Besides his smashing good looks, he is a work of magic. The way the guy hits the ball. I just don't get it. I read an interview a while back that someone from Wash U wrote about him. They brought him in and hooked him up to "study" him. They did find that he is, indeed, unique. I think it's his intense strength that impresses me, player wise. He's also an overall good guy, and you've gotta give him points for that!

5. What in life do you regret the most?

Hmm, what do I regret most? Well, I personally do not regret anything I have ever done. I like to think that all my decisions made in life, mistake or not, have been thought out and handled maturely. However, I would say that my biggest regret (that I have no control over) is that my dad's side of the family is so hateful, close minded, and angry. I regret that they'll never be happy in life. They'll never see the things I've seen, experienced the things I have, or share in the happiness I do everyday.

So, the rules are as follows:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Balls!

Old balls, sticky balls, hairy balls, ew! So, obviously my topic is balls. You know, the beans of the frank and beans. Have you been as lucky as I to have seen these? Well, the other morning on my ever growing commute to work, I was oh so lucky enough to have a truck pull up in front of me with these hanging from the bumper. So, obviously, because I am such a peach in the morning, I got a bad attitude and started thinking how dumb you'd have to be to put some fake balls on the back of your vehicle. Then, I started thinking that if you have to put some fake balls on the back of your vehicle, maybe your balls aren't so big. I don't know, you know how I get when I get pissy. My mind just gets crazy. So, I'm about to ask the old question. Why are people so stupid? I mean, seriously. Come on. Balls on the back of your vehicle? I think that ranks worse than the Calvin Pissing On...sticker. Ugh.

So moving on. This weekend was the camping trip. While we didn't camp for real (we stayed in a cabin), Jason wanted to cook like we were really camping. We got a chuckle from it. Overall, we had a good time. Even with the burnt hash browns (Jason!) We didn't get to go floating because the water was up and oh so cold, but we did go to Onondaga Cave and then later we watch Jason almost drown. Good times!

This weekend, my future brother-in-law is graduating with his triple E degree, and while I'm in Columbia, I have my first fitting for my bridesmaids dress, and then we're going shopping with my mom and Matt's mom for dresses for the wedding. Again, good times! NOT! So, after getting back on Sunday night, I've got to start packing for Florida. We leave on Wednesday. No rest for the weary, I tell ya!

FYI

So, the 2 hour special episode of Grey's Anatomy totally just made me cry. Fiddlesticks!

Back, but Gone Again

So, first you should know that I am only typing this post because I paused my tivo during Grey's Anatomy because I really felt like I was neglecting you all. Plus, I got a few angry emails. Anyway, moving on.

So, last weekend was India's bachorlette party in Chicago! We had a flippin' blast. We hung out with my cousin Adam and his hot boyfriend Joe, and shopped, ate, drank, laughed, danced, ate some more, drank some more, yelled obscenities about the Cubs, and various other fun shit. If you weren't there, you should have been. You really missed out!

This weekend, we're off camping. Well, not "real" camping. But, we are going to Bass River Resort and staying in a cabin. So, it's sorta like camping, but not. Anyway, we're going with Jason and Nicole and their incredibly smart, and cute son. Should be fun. I just hope it doesn't rain all weekend.

Hmm, what else? Oh, work! The new job is going good. I'm getting more and more involved in the projects, which I love. So, after about a month and a half, I have 20 projects. It's safe to say that they keep me busy.

I leave for vacation in Florida in 12 days. GET EXCITED! I am.

Hmm, what else? Oh, I had to get lippy with a bitch last night. Kara and I were at Dillards in the Galleria trying on swimsuits. As we walked out of the dressing room, this chick asks us if we need anything. I say no. She asks if we tried anything on. In a nice tone, I might add. I say yes. She then proceeds to get a shit ass attitude and says THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO GET YOUR ITEMS AND PUT THEM BACK. It took me about 2 seconds to say, "Umm, let me think about that....NO." I was so pissed. What the f? Isn't that her job? To put clothes back on the rack? Shit. Anyway, I hate Dillards and usually don't go there, but I had a gift card. Sooo, I used all of my gift card on Clinique items and left. Don't worry lippy bitch. I won't be back anytime soon so you can continue to be a lazy retail worker.

So, that's it. I'm going to back to watching this 2 hour special episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Peace, love, and hair grease!