List of Stuff To Send To Iraq

Here's my list...feel free to add. And Thanks!

baby wipes
fluffy towel
gold bond powder
socks
eye drops
sunblock
foam football
soap
mouthwash & toothpaste & toothbrush
squirt guns
Pasta Anytime
dry cereal
fruit cups
chex mix
gum
kool aid - sweetened
cookies
t-shirts
qtips
chapstick
hand sanitizer
frisbee
plastic silverware
a cup (?)
packets of condiments from fast food restaurant
single serving coffee bags
tuna packs
crackers
granola bars
lotion
Pepcid
Advil
peanut butter
garlic salt

You Are A Gut Maggot, With No Guts.

Just kidding.

I think I'm going to go see Vanity Fair tomorrow by myself, in the middle of the day. It will be the first time I've ever gone to see a movie by myself. And to be honest, I'm kind of excited about it. This is, of course, after I have lunch with Beckie tomorrow.

I'm going to put together a package to send to our friend Kirk, who's currently in Iraq. I have a list of some things to put in the package, but does anyone have any ideas? What exactly does a soldier in the desert want? (besides to come home.)

Well,

I fired off an email this morning to the headhunters. I just explained that I didn't feel comfortable going back to this job and I apologized endlessly. I guess I'll find out how that goes over either later this morning, or this afternoon. I just feel like there's this huge cloud over me that won't go away. Maybe I'm bringing a lot of this on myself. I don't know. All I know is, I did not feel comfortable at this job and didn't want to be there. It's like, if I had interviewed directly at this company, I wouldn't have gone back for a 2nd interview. Sometimes I feel like I'm being a spoiled little brat. But, I don't mean to be. I just know this is not what I'm looking for. I don't know *exactly* what I'm looking for, but I know this is not it.

I hope someone reading this knows what I mean. Things just suck right now. And it's so weird because the other aspects of my life are great. I have great friends, a great husband, a happy home life, and basically, everything else is all puppies and butterflies...except for my career. And, it's so odd that this can make me feel as shitty as I'm feeling about it. Anyway, that's all I really have to say about it. It's really bugging me and I feel like shit. Welcome to my world.

GoodGoodGoodGoodBAD.

So, I'm having one of those..months. Maybe even years. You know, the ones where you feel like a total loser. Like you can't make up your mind about anything and you feel like a slacker because you lack making up your mind. I'm just confused I think. First, let me tell you what I did today, then maybe you'll understand my ramblings tonight. I started the job on Friday, and it was okay, but I didn't really really like it. So, today (only my 2nd official day, keep in mind) I went in, and did all the tasks I was 'assigned' to do and after I finished them, I knew that I just didn't want to be there. Not like, I just wanted to go home for the day, but like I don't want to work there. Period. So anyway, I called the staffing agency and told them. I felt kinda bad at first because I wasn't sure how all of it played out on their end, and I was worried about leaving the company I was working for in a crappy position. Anyway, I was really nice and just explained that I didn't want to work there because I felt it wasn't the right position for me. AND, I told her that I totally wasn't interested in the 'medical' field, so I wasn't motivated. Anyway, the lady got kinda pissy with me. And, I felt really bad about it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally understand her being pissy, considering that she just 'placed' me in this job and maybe she thought I wasn't thankful enough or something, I don't know. So anyway, she acted all pissy and told me that I was leaving her in a terrible position and asked me if I could keep working there on a short term basis until she found someone to replace me. I told her that was fine. Of course, I had already told her a few times that I didn't want to work there anymore, but apparently she was hearing NONE of that..so I caved in and told her I would stay. Then, she told me she was going to call the employer and tell them, but when I got there in the morning, I would need to talk to them about it also. Well, that sorta made me uncomfortable. I don't know why, it just did. Am I just weird for feeling this way?

I'm not trying to be difficult, really. I just can't seem to find my 'place' here. I feel like a stranger sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I moved to St. Louis, but at the same time, sometimes I'm a little sad. At times I miss my old job in Springfield at Bank One. Maybe it's just the atmosphere and my friends that I miss, I don't know. I just can't find a place here I like enough to stay longer than 1-2 years. My friends and family tell me that I will find the right place soon, but I dunno. What if there isn't a place here for me? I have great skills. I'm not just saying that, I really do have great skills. And, the skills that I don't have, I can learn so quick. I know that there has to be a position SOMEWHERE in the Metro area for me, but finding it is the problem.

I just feel like such a loser. I mean, Chris has this great job, that he loves. Most of my friends have great jobs that they love too. Then, there's me. I love my friends, but I have no job that is great, nor that I love. Then, I think WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I'm only 24 years old, so I'm still young, but I just have this idea in my head of how "things" should be. I mean, I'm married, I own my own house, I drive a fucking Volvo. Shouldn't I be like 3 years into my career, in a great job that I love too?? Isn't that the way things work? I'm not asking for perfection. Really. It's like, I have all these ideas and stuff that I think about a lot, but it goes nowhere, and I still feel like a loser.

Sometimes being a grown up really sucks. I remember when I was younger and still lived at home. I never worried about anything. Never worried about what I was having for dinner, or even if all the doors were locked at night. It's amazing what a burden those 2 simple things are when you grow up. And really, all this paragraph has to do with is the fact that I feel like a loser tonight.

I don't know what to do about it either. Usually I have most of the answers for stuff, but for this, I don't. I have no answers. I don't even have any suggestions for myself.

This weekend we're going to Chicago to help Beckie move the rest of her things here. I'm glad to be going to Chicago, but I'll still feel like a loser...I'll just be a loser in Chicago. I remember right before we bought our house, we were about this close to moving to Chicago. That was an exciting time for me...even if I was just mentally excited. The thought of finally moving to Chicago was fun. But, we decided to stay in the 'Lou and bought our current house. I guess that's just the way it was meant to be. On the upside though, we were discussing where we should move, should Bush get re-elected. My vote was for the Bahamas or Fiji, but Chris says we'd be better off moving somewhere with an IT economy, like Canada or India. I told him I wouldn't be opposed to England, but my heart is still set on the Bahamas. I can't image ever feeling like a loser in the Bahamas. If I lived on the beach, I'd be happy all the time!

Well, I guess I've whined enough. I hope I can work out my loser issues before the weekend. I'd hate to be depressed in Chicago.

MmmMMm..

my house smells like roasting chicken! It could be because I've been roasting a chicken a chicken on low in the oven most of the day. It's sooo juicy and I can't wait to eat it! Beckie & RJ are coming over for dinner tonight. Anyway, I have nothing of value to say..I just wanted to post about the chicken in my oven.

My First Day..

Well, I started my job today. Woah. Can you say overwhelming? There's so much junk I don't understand. Most of it is medical jargon and insurance stuff. Today, I was so overwhelmed with stuff that I just wanted to run! Everyone was really nice to me though, and my cube is pretty big. When I got there this morning, they had everything ready to go for me. My network ID, my phone and voicemail, office supplies all sorts of stuff. The woman who I'm under was pretty helpful, but she did throw a lot at me at once. I'm definitely not going to be bored at this job. The 2 VP's I'm supporting are very nice too, so that helps. I'm not sure if I want to work at this company permanently, but I think I'll give it a week. That's the great thing about being a temp. I might actually start liking it! The woman did tell me though, if I wanted a job there, that it wouldn't be a problem, so that did sound promising.

When I got there this morning, I had a nice chat with the security guard. He was a younger guy, but was really nice. He made me a little less nervous about being the 'new' person. At lunch, I got confused in the parking garage and basically couldn't find my way out! I'm such a dork. I had to drive all the way to the top of the garage, then all the way back down to the bottom. Then, once I got down there, my badge wouldn't work on the automatic opener thing...so I had to backup, and go to the attendant. She was nice too, so she just opened the gate for me and didn't make me pay. Lots of nice people today...kind of odd, but I'm not complaining.

I'm really hoping that on Monday I won't feel so overwhelmed, and hopefully this week I'll catch on to things and put faces with names, etc etc. Oh, did I mention that this woman is going to be gone Monday & Tuesday and I'm going to be responsible for everything/one?? Not that I have a problem with that, but not only do I have no idea who is who or who does what, I really have no idea how processes there work, AND it will only be my 2nd and 3rd days. But, I'll get through it, I'm sure.

Tonight we went to Pier One and I got some candles that smell really yummy. The scent is called Cranberry Citrus. It's a little cranberry and a little orange/lemon. You should pick one up if you're at Pier One. You might like it, you might not. Don't hold me responsible.

Continuing my low-carb (NOT ATKINS) diet tonight, I had chicken stir-fry..again. I just had it last night, but considering I don't like meat all that much, the thought of anything else just made me sick. And, really the concept of eating chicken stir-fry with no rice or noodles is just weird. But I choked it down anyway. Today I took a stand on salad though. I, Dana, will eat salad no more. Oh no, no more. For my lunch today, I brought a big salad. I took 3 bites and thought I was going to hoove. So, no more salad for me. That's the 2nd time I've felt that way about salad. So, just say no to salad.

On to happier news, vacation is coming up! Dominican Republic here we come! 34 days and counting (down)! I'm starting to get excited. I can almost see the beach and a cold tropical drink. Now, I'm just trying to figure out which excursions we'll do. One day, we're going to Santo Domingo to explore the city with a friend of ours who lives there. But, the rest of the week, we're not sure what we'll do. If anyone has any ideas, I'd like to know!

Well, I guess that's it. I'm going to go stuff & rub a chicken...ha! For dinner tomorrow night with Beckster and Arjar. Hope everyone has a safe Friday!

Happy Dance!

I got a job...I got a job...I got a job! Not the job I was waiting for, but a different job. In Clayton, with nice salary and I'm just ecstatic! I got it through the headhunters and I start tomorrow. I'm so totally excited to be going back to work, I can hardly wait until tomorrow!!!

Thanks for the kind words Mark - Good Luck to you too.

It's getting ready to storm here. I think I'll take a nap. Just wanted to let you know the good news!

Do you..

ever feel like you've reached the end of the internet? I feel like that a lot lately. Maybe there's a whole different part of the internet that I know nothing about. Maybe the internet is like space...or maybe I'm just crazy.

I need a job so bad. Everyone tells me I'm crazy not to be enjoying this time off. But, I'm just not a home person. It drives me absolutely batty to be at home all day. Besides, it's not like I have that much to do. We have a cleaning lady, so the only cleaning I can really do is picking up between the time she's not here. I guess I could start our master bathroom painting job, but that just seems like a bad idea. But, who knows, maybe I'll change my mind.

I'm really kind of excited to be going out to lunch tomorrow. And, to be going by my old job to drop off my key. Even though I really dislike my old job, at least it's better than sitting at home.
I think I've updated my blog 3 times today. That's just insane for me. Tonight, I had an itch to play a boardgame. Except we don't have any games. So, Chris and I played War instead. That's such a boring card game. Oh well. I think Beckie & Ryan are coming over this weekend for dinner and a movie. Maybe they can bring a boardgame!

Well, that's it. I guess I'll finish my glass of water and go to bed. At least I can dream when I'm sleeping. And dreaming at least passes the time.

Update

This morning I got a call from the HR lady I interviewed with last week. She wanted 2 references from me and asked me if I was offered the position, if I would be available to start on Sept. 1. I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm kinda thinking I might be offered the position. She said she'd be in contact very soon, so I may hear something by Friday. (I hope.)

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with an old co-worker that I haven't seen for over a year. I'm kind of excited about it. We have a lot to catch up on!

I really need to go workout today, but I feel so lazy for some reason. Like I just wanted to sleep for the rest of the day. Hopefully I'll have more energy after my workout. Have I mentioned how much I hate meat, eggs, cheese, and salad? I don't know how much longer I can stick this diet out. It's making me sick everytime I eat something. I guess on the upside, after this is over, I wont eat eggs, meat, cheese or salad again for a long long time. And, in all fairness, I have dropped 6 lbs since Monday. And before you tell me how unhealthy that is, trust me, I know. I'm a former WWer. And, I'm almost positive most of that is water weight. But, it does give me that incentive to keep on going. I have a new tankini I'd like to wear to Punta Cana and if I keep this up, I might just look cute in it!

Well, I guess I'll go do some laundry. Maybe after I workout, I'll go to Pier One. At least to look around. I'm so freaking bored and tired of staying at home.

Another good day..

My interview today went great! I was at this one for 3 hours also. I got a chance to interview with the key players I'd be working with and they were all so nice! I should hear something by Sept 1st, so keep your fingers crossed. In other news, this afternoon, I got a call to come in for an interview for a job I applied for at Wash U. That's tomorrow. It would be great if I had an interview every day this week. (Wishful thinking though) I really do hope I get the job I interviewed with today. It would be perfect I think. But, we'll see what happens.

Someone asked which Aussie shampoo and conditioner I was talking about. It's the Aussie MOIST Shampoo and the same MOIST conditioner, and it's the kind for dry & damaged hair. I cannot say again how much I love this stuff. And, that same person also asked if I had any legal experience. I unfortunately don't have any admin legal experience...but I'm a quicker learner if that makes a difference....

I'm currently on a diet. Now, I don't do diets. I just don't do them. I eat rather healthfully anyway. Fruits, veggies, fish and chicken. That's my basic diet. But, there are about 20 lbs I'd be happy to get rid of, and for all my working out I just can't seem to shed them. Especially 10 pesky pounds that have been hanging out for about 6 months. So, I decided to try the
Curves Diet. Basically, it's like Atkins but with more carbs and fruit too. But, it's really hard for me because I'm not a huge meat eater. Actually, I don't really care for red meat. I'll do fish and chicken maybe 3 times a week, but beyond that, I just don't like meat all that much. So, this thing is supposed to last for 6 weeks and I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it through all 6 weeks, but I'll give it the good old college try.

So, I guess that's it. I'm really tired tonight for some reason. I just wanted to take a shower and go to bed. Maybe I'll do that.

Sooo..

my interview went really well today. I was there for 3 hours! The people were so nice and hopefully they'll have something for me soon! Tomorrow is my second interview for the job I interviewed with last week. I'm pretty excited about it. The office is in the Microsoft building on Olive. Apparently working in that building gets you some pretty nice perks, according to my trusty friend Ryan.

So I started using some new shampoo & conditioner. It's Aussie. I've never used it before, but for the past couple of days, I haven't even had to blow dry it. It just air-dries perfectly. So, you should try it. It smells nice too.

Well, that about sums it up. Interview this morning, came home, took a nap, made dinner, worked out, took a shower, typing this post on my blog. Maybe tomorrow will be a little more exciting. But then again, maybe not.

Sunday

Well, I didn't wake up today until about noon-thirty. Last night, we went out to dinner with Beckie & RJ. After dinner, Chris and RJ went to a movie, and Beckie and I sat around and drank *3*, yes *3* bottles of wine. I got a little sick right about the time that Chris and RJ got back so he spent the rest of the night taking care of me. I really hate puking. It's like the most disgusting thing ever. Puking just makes me puke more because it's so nasty. Anyway, when I woke up this afternoon, I felt a lot better. But haven't really been all that hungry most of the day.

Chris left this morning to go race with his racing team. He said he didn't do very good today but I don't think it's really that big of a deal. I mean, I would imagine it's just a big group of guys who get together to talk about cars and shoot the shit. But, what do I know..I'm not a guy.

So, I'm getting ready for my interview in the morning. (The one at the staffing agency) I've got my outfit all picked out, down to the earrings I'm wearing. All I have left to do is print out a few copies of my resume, and I'll be set. I'm really kind of excited about this interview. Hopefully something good will happen.

Well, I'm going to fold some laundry and then hopefully I'll be in bed and asleep by 10pm. I'm getting up bright and early tomorrow! Night all!

Wow!

What a beautiful day! Early this morning, I got up and went on a 6 mile walk with the To Goal and Beyond group. It was such a nice walk! It really got me pumped up for the day. After I got home, Chris and I went to Sam's for grocery supplies and he ended up getting 4 new tires on his car. When we got home, I opened up all the windows. It's just so very nice. I love fresh air!

Today I got a sample of True Star or something like that from Tommy Hilfinger. It smells really good. I think I'm going to buy some the next time I go to the mall. Oh, speaking of samples, at Sam's, they were giving away sample boxes of Claritan. I got one and Chris got one. Woohoo for free stuff!

Friday afternoon I got a call about the interview I had on Tuesday. I'm going in on this Tuesday for a second interview with the President of the company, who I would be working for, and a few others there. I'm really excited about it and hope all goes well. Hopefully next week will be a good one for me work wise.

Chris, Jason and RJ are going to see AVP and some other geek movie. Beckie and I are going to stay home and have dinner and then drink a large amount of wine. There are 6 bottles marked for tonight's drinking. Perhaps the two of us can tackle 6 bottles...perhaps not though. I'm looking forward to it though. I love wine and I especially love being all chit-chatty when I'm drinking wine.

Well, I think I'll go find something to do. The Olympics are on today and the US is playing Russia in waterpolo. Maybe I'll finish watching this, then find something to do.

Rain Rain Go Away..

it's depressing me. So, I woke up this morning with nothing to do really. I'm going to go workout in a bit, but beyond that, I'm not sure. Last night, I stayed up until 2am. Partly because I started cleaning out and rearranging my dresser drawers and partly because I couldn't sleep after that. But, my drawers are clean and more organized now. Before, I just had shorts/sweaters/t-shirts and tank tops mixed together, but now..they have their own drawers. Pants in one, sweaters in one, and t's and tanks in another! And, my pj's have their own drawer too. AND, AND I separated my socks. Dark socks and hose in one drawer and white socks in another. And I know what you're thinking. And the answer is yes, I *do* have a lot of time on my hands.

Yesterday when I got my new 'interview' clothes, I didn't get a pair of new shoes to wear with them. Which kinda sucks. So, maybe I'll go out today and try to find a pair of shoes. That would keep me busy for an hour or so.

Well, I guess I'll go get dressed now and go workout. Yippee!

LOSER.

Wow, I'm a loser. Not only have I not updated since August 5, but I'm also unemployed. I'm so sad and in shock really. I lost my job on Tuesday. Basically, my boss found out I have been interviewing for other jobs, and the woman who's place I took in the first place lost her job and came back, so I think he wanted to rehire her. It's such a clusterfuck. I'm sad but at the same time I'm pissed. I don't know what to do with myself. I've cleaned the house, done the laundry, watched the Olympics, put stuff on Ebay, worked out, cleaned some more, did more laundry, and really just about everything you can think of. I am in serious need of a job. Now, on the upside, I did have an interview on Tuesday afternoon that went really well. I'm supposed to get a call to set up a second interview also. And, my friend Beckie hooked me up with her staffing agency and I have an appointment with them on Monday. I'm just so scared that I won't be able to find another job for like a year or more. I'm a really good Administrative Assistant if anyone is hiring. I really hope I find something soon.

So, besides that, things have been going okay. Today I went shopping for new 'interview' clothes. I got some great buys at Banana Republic and NY & Co too. NY & Co is having the City Cash promo right now, so that was a mini-bonus! After that, I went to Starbucks to get some coffee-crack and ended up spilling it all over my new "who dat" shirt. I almost cried. It really sucked. After that, I went to dinner with Beckie & RJ and then I went back to their new place and helped unpack a few boxes. Oh, and we watched the Olympics. The US swimmers kick some serious booty. I really like swimming anyway, so I guess it wouldn't matter if we were kicking butt or not.

Thinking about not having a job, I think about all of the things I could do, that I've thought about doing, but never done. Like, going back to school. Chris said some recruiter called for me today. Im not sure how they got my number, but maybe it's a sign! Then, I thought about all the ways I could meet new people. Or, that maybe I could take up sewing or knitting or something "housewifey".

I don't know what to do tomorrow. Tomorrow night, the In-Laws are coming over for dinner. And, I'm sure tomorrow morning, I'll go workout like I have for the past 2 days. But beyond that, I don't know. Maybe I'll find a good book to read or something.

Well, that's about it. I was beginning to feel guilty about not updating my blog. So now I don't have to feel guilty anymore.

I'm going to lunch with Beckie & RJ today. But not until 1pm..which kinda sucks because I'm hungry now. We're going to Casa and it's going to take everything inside of me not to order extra little corn cake thingies. I love those little cakes of corn goodness soo much I could eat nothing but them for a week.

Tonight I need to pack for the Michigan trip. And you all know how much I LOVE packing...The drive tomorrow is going to be great. 8 hours in the car, after work! I'm giddy with excitement!

I woke up this morning to the Today Show talking to that guy who had sex with his teacher when he was like 14. I guess I just don't get it. First of all, why would a 30-something year old teacher want to boink a 14 year old latin kid? I mean, I think she was married and had other kids. And now, this kid wants to get back with her now that she's out of jail. Am I just weird or is something wrong with that?

I'm out.

It feels like a Wednesday...

but obviously it is not.

This past weekend was a good weekend. I got a ton of stuff done, and just had a really good time. This weekend we're headed to Michigan for the reception and that should be good as well.

Tonight we're going out to dinner with Beckie. Then, I have to make cupcakes for Chris. I haven't baked in a while..so maybe I'll make some cookies too.

I think it's going to rain. At least it looks that way. So, I went out and rolled up my windows. I don't want my new car to get wet!

Well, I guess that's it for now. It's taken me like an hour to get this little post typed up because I'm trying to work at the same time.

I'll post more tonight.

Does anyone want to buy my old laptop?