Ahhhh I Still Have A Job...

for now anyway! We had a merger meeting and found out that IT will be staying in STL, so as it is now, I have a job through 2009. Go me! Unfortunately, a lot of my co-workers on the business side are going to be without a job. That really sucks. Other than that, my day was long and incredibly busy. I think this week is going to be incredibly long and busy.

This weekend was good. I went to my step-sister-in-law's bridal shower at Mt. Pleasant, and then went out to dinner at Momo's with the family. Good times! Thursday, I'm going to the Rams game, and then on Friday I'm going to the Cardinal's game. Actually, I'm going on Sunday too. Woo.

Why is it so hard difficult to be an adult? I'd really like to know. I cannot even imagine what it's like to have kids. I just don't feel like I could do it by myself. I mean, I already have a cleaning lady. By the time I get home from work, make dinner, pick up around the house, do laundry, and all the other little things that happen in life, it's already 9:30pm and I'm totally pooped. I need a whole entourage of people to make my life a little less busy. You know, like a live in maid, a chef, a personal assistant, an accountant, and a driver. That would be perfect! Just fricking perfect.

Hmm, what else? I don't know. I'm tired and crabby, and I still have a load of laundry to fold. So, with that, I better go. Peas.

For Your Viewing Enjoyment

You like?


You'll notice a broken string. All me bitches, all me. I'm just *that* good.

Yeah, all me bitches. All me.

Nah Nah Nah, That Don't Kill Me...

Will only make me stronger. Shitfire! (As my mean grandmother used to say) This merger business is tryin to break me. I'm not sure if any of you read the STL Biz Journal, but if you do, I'm sure you saw the article about a certain local CEO's deal from said merger. Wow, I'd love to be able to finagle benefits for life for myself, my spouse, and my adult dependants. Sweet. I'd also love to be able to make stock holders pay my taxes. Wow. So, you can see where I'm going with this? I'm beside myself. Do I stay? Do I go? That's a daily thought. I'd love to stay. I love my job. I love my co-workers. I love(d) the company I work(ed) for. Well, since I'm not ok with living my life by the seat of my pants, I've decided to try and find a job with a better, faster, stronger (Go KanYe!) company. This is my plea. If your company is looking for a Project Planner or IT Analyst, I'm your woman. Get at me, dawgs. Besides, at the rate we're going, I'm going to come in one morning and be met at the door by security who hands me a box and tells me my position has been eliminated. Rut-roh Scooby!

Okay, so moving on. I had a 2 hour and 42 minute meeting today with a not-so-experienced-or-nice PM today. See, I've been trying to explain Project Management 101 to her since June. Well, today I think she finally got it! I'm so proud of me. I made it through 2 hours and 42 minutes without losing my patience. There is hope! Even though I had to break it down to her like she was five, I think I accomplished my goal and the light bulb flipped on! To celebrate this joyous occasion, I've decided to consume a bottle of the finest Chardonnay that I chilled just yesterday. Score for me! I'm also feasting on a delicious Porterhouse steak, courtesy of Chris.

So that's pretty much it. I was going to get into some pet peeves of mine, but the wine is making me believe it's just not worth it. Not tonight anyway. I will continue to drink my wine and download music.

2.5 games behind. Watch out bitches, we're makin' a comeback. Go Cards!

Haterade

Oh snap. I'm about to put someone on notice. Ready? Good. So, I've been having this warm, fuzzy feeling reunion with my old high school classmates over on myspace. Obviously, with high school comes old memories of bitchy people who you never really liked anyway, but thought maybe, just maybe time would work wonders. Well, I was wrong. (Oh shut up, like I've never admitted that or anything.) Anyway, there is one particular girl. We'll call her Fudge Round, just for conversation sake. Anyway, I got an email from Fudge Round the other morning (as in 7:59am) excitedly telling me of an email she got from another classmate of ours, we'll call him Baldie. Anyway, she was very excited about this email, as she used all caps and at least 10 exclaimation points. Anyway, when I emailed her back and said (and I quote):

That's great! How's he doing? What's his email address?"

That was literally all of my reply to her. Her reply? "Well, let me email him first and ask him if it's ok that I give you his email address."

Hold the phone Fudge Round. You're going to WHAT? It's just totally wacky considering that I've known Baldie all my life. He wouldn't mind if I sent him a fucking email. Fudge Round is seriously pissing my shit off. Not because she wouldn't give me his email address. I think I'm more pissed off because she was such a bitch about it. I mean, why did she even bring it up in the first place? Oh wait. I know. She wanted to have something over on me. Oooh wow. You've really got me there Fudge Round. You've really got me there. Ugh. Some people never change.

Since this is my blog, and I can say whatever the fark comes to mind, here goes! Fudge Round, I don't really like you. You're gossipy, and bitchy, and you have a rather large ass. You don't use proper grammer or English for that matter, and I really don't like the fact that you're hung up on Baldie. I think your husband, Oatmeal Cookie, would be jealous if he knew this passionate love you held for Baldie. Get over yourself Fudgy. You're a bitch and nobody likes you.

Okay, I've said my piece.

Let's Talk Cupcakes

So, I like to consider myself a sweet treat connoisseur. I'm a baker, a cake maker, a decorator, and most of all, a lover of all things sweet. Anywho, last week after we had dinner with my uncle, my sister, brother-in-law, and myself stopped by a certain Plaza for a cupcake. Now, some of you may know that two new cupcake places have opened here in the STL. Cupcakery's are apparently the hottest new trend in food. Whatever. Yeah, I said it. Whatever. Cupcakes aren't difficult to make. Good cupcakes, however apparently are a challenge to some. The overpriced, $2.75 cupcakes that we consumed last week were average. Meaning, not worth $2.75. I can bake 12 cupcakes for just a little more than that, and the cupcakes I make will taste better than average. Some of you can attest to this. Anyway, I guess my point is, don't believe the hype. I can only speak of one particular cupcakery, I cannot speak for the other bar. Who knows, maybe they're better. Anyway, it's a trend folks. I'm pretty sure it's a trend. If you have a good cupcake experience as this 'ery, please let me know.

Float Away!

I'm preparing for the float trip. I will be mia for a few days. I have work news, but it'll have to wait until Monday. Have a good weekend. I know I will! I plan on drowning my merger sorrows via a 60 pack of Bud Light. Sooo responsible, I know. Save it.

This Weekend

If anyone has nothing to do this weekend, and would like to do something, do I have an offer for you!

If you would like to spend the weekend in beautiful Van Buren, MO, floating on the Current River, eating, drinking, and being merry with several nice folks, let me know. I have an extra room (2 beds) under my name due to a cancellation. We're staying at the Landing, which is a popular spot and always fills up quickly. Soooo, if you're interested, please let me know ASAP!

I Am My Own Hero.

So this weekend, I set up my mom's myspace page for her. (Yes, she has a myspace page). Anyway, as I was asking her what she wanted on her profile part, we came to the part where they ask who your hero is. Her reply? "I am my own hero." Now, my mom isn't normally this funny, but for some reason she just shot back with that, and we all lost it. We laughed about it for like five minutes. Too funny.

Today we went out to Old Monroe for the annual Catholic picnic. Let me tell you, it was hotter than Hades. The temp said 107 degrees. We ate, walked around, played Bingo (where I won $5, btw) and then we left. It was just too hot. Afterwards, we headed to the airport to pickup Indy and Matthew from their cruise. Then, I came home and read my boring ass book. Have any of you read Sons & Lovers by D.H. Lawrence? If so, did you enjoy it? I find it rather difficult to read and really dry. Oh well.

So that's it. It was a good weekend. I'm not ready for the work week. Big surprise though, huh?

Next weekend - Float Trip 2007. Details later. Peace the spork out.

Music Outlet has guitars for $14.95?!?!?!?!!?

Oh yes. Do they. This evening, as we were driving back from my momma's house, we saw a billboard along I-70 that was advertising Music Outlet in the Warrenton Outlet Shopping Center. It said they had guitars for $14.95. Chris looked at me, I looked a Chris, and the decision was made. We were getting a guitar for $14.95. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: We are so getting a guitar.

Chris: It's probably a miniture sized guitar.

Me: I don't care.

So, we stop and start to go inside. I notice all the guitars in the window are like $150 and up. I tell Chris, that perhaps the sign was bogus. We walk in, the conversation goes something like this:

Guitar Lady: Hello!

Me: Hello! How are you?

Guitar Lady: I'm good. Is there anything I can help you with?

Me: Well! We saw your billboard for a $14.95 guitar and I would like one please.

Guitar Lady: Ha! Those are children sized.

Me: Well, ok! I'll take one!

Guitar Lady: How old is the child?

Me: Uh, well, there is no child. It's for me!

Guitar Lady: Oh. Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll give it to you for $4.95.

Me: Sweet! I'll need to buy a guitar pick too!

Guitar Lady: I'll throw in 2 free ones.

Me: Sweet!

About that time, Chris comes over. We start looking at harmonicas. Yes, harmonicas. We decide to purchase one to complete our band. Please follow:

Me: We'll take a harmonica, too!

Guitar Lady: Harmonica's are 30% off.

Me: Sweet!

We walked out of Music Outlet with 2 musical instruments for under $20. Seriously folks, can you beat that shit? Now, ask me if I can play the guitar or the harmonica. Go ahead, ask me. Wait, let me answer you. NO! I cannot play either one. However, when we got in the car, I started playing. I made up a song. It fucking rocked. Ask Chris. He played backup harmonica as we were driving down I-70. Always an adventure with me. Always.

Time Out Please

I'm overwhelmed right now. I'm contemplating quitting school. I'm contemplating becoming a cutter. I'm just overwhelmed. I want to cry, but I know that would be irrational. Not like cutting is irrational or anything. I have 4 papers to write, 30 short stories to read, and 2 novels to read. Please don't expect frequent posts right now. Just understand that if I don't underwhelm myself quickly, I'm going to have to pull a Britney and check myself into rehab. That is all.

Rusty Nail - On The Rocks

So, a few things today. Let me tell you how a conversation went:

Me: Hey Chris. Be really careful out there and don't cut yourself on a rusty nail.

Chris: I'm always careful.

Me: Yeah right.

10 minutes later, I hear the door open, and Jason and Chris are rushing in. Chris stepped on a rusty nail that went all the way through his boot and into his foot, through his toe. He's always careful though. (a big HA HA HA to you my friend.) So, he headed to the urgent care to get the rusty nail shot and some antibiotics. Now he's gimping around like a one legged man and in pain. Great!

So, early this morning I went to class. Let me tell you, it was a hoot. Again, I will state that I think I have a rather large brain. Or something. I'm not sure what it is. How do you NOT know who Queen Elizabeth is? I mean, come on.

After the rusty nail incident, I went to a very beautiful shower for Mae and Juna. I had a great time and everything was fab!

After the shower, I went out with my bratty sister and brother-in-law to dinner at PF Changs. I'm getting up bright and early, well not so bright. The sun rises at 6:06am, civil twilight starts at 5:37am and I will be getting up at 4:45am to play taxi to the airport.

So that's it. A good day was had by moi today!

Rescure 911!!!!!

Holy shit. I broke a nail. Well, before you flip out and say to yourself, "she broke a nail?" know that it was the bad sort of break where your WHOLE ENTIRE FINGERNAIL gets turned inside out. There is blood and all. It hurts like a mofo. As in, I need a shot of morphine or special K or something. Now, I'm freaking out because my fingernail is going to fall off, and I just don't know how to handle that. I have long, beautiful (real) fingernails. What if people won't like me without a fingernail? (That was a joke.) Seriously though, it hurts. This is me crying. :--------(

On the job front, the usual Friday at noon merger conference call has been moved to 3:30pm. What the hell is up with that? Are they going to tell us to get out and not come back on Monday? Well, I'm not going to join in on the conference call because if I don't KNOW that I'm not supposed to show up, I can still show up. How do you like those apples?

If they let people in the TR Hughes Ballpark without a fingernail, I plan on going to the Rascal's game tomorrow. Saturday morning at 8am I have class. Oh boy. I can't wait. Can you sense the excitement? Sunday morning I've gotta take my sister and brother-in-law to the airport. Let me just say that I am taking them against my will. I am not going on vacation. That makes me angry! They're flying into Miami (swoon!) and then going on a cruise (double swoon!) I need a vacay. Like, say, a weekend in Mexico? Come on come on come on Chris. Just give in already.

That is all. I'm going go back to feeling sorry for myself and my fingernail.

Van or Cardboard Box?

So, many of you know about the big "merger" going on at my work. Today, I was in a meeting where the merger was the topic. Well, basically my boss spent the whole time trying to convince us that we are valuable snowflakes and our jobs are probably safe, etc etc etc. Well, as he was talking, I started envisioning being homeless. For some reason it played out like a movie in my head. I was sitting in the meeting, listening to the blahblahblah and then fast forward 3 months. I got my walking papers, but wasn't too stressed because I had the usual 60 days. Well, I couldn't find a job, filed for unemployment, couldn't pay my mortgage so my house got foreclosed on, then my car got repossessed, then I had to move in with my sister and put all my stuff in storage. Well, because I couldn't find a job, I couldn't pay my storage bill, so I lost all my stuff. Then, my sister kicked me out and I had nowhere to go. So, I ended up dirty, walking down the street, with ratty hair and no makeup, and living down by the Casino Queen in a big washing machine box.

I imagined this in the hour of the meeting and quite frankly, it freaked me out. I've never been through a merger before, so I have no idea what to expect. I expect the absolute worst. It's crappy. I hope I can make it through this thing without losing my mind, without making my OCD worse, keeping my job, and NOT living down by the Casino Queen.

Well, I'm going to watch Top Chef on my TiVo while I have a TiVo and while I have satellite TV. Dramatic, I know.