My Weekend

Well, Happy Easter everyone. I hope everyone had a good day.

Okay. Lets start with Friday. After we got off work, we came home and took a short nap, then got on the road. Our first stop was going to be in Columbia at my sister's apartment. Before we got there, we decided to stop in Kingdom City (think of a truck stop amusement park of a city) and eat. We went to McDonalds, which, was probably the most busy McDonalds I've ever been too. The scary thing was the place was F U L L of hoosiers. It was so scary. I'm not talking like hoosier like, drinks Budweiser from the can...I'm talking hoosier like, dirty, crooked teeth, probably live in a trailer, and beat their kids, hoosier. So, after so mild confusion at the counter ordering our food, we finally sat down. We happened to sit across from a family of hoosiers. There was the dad. Tall, skinny, crooked-yellow teeth, dirty clothes, you get the picture...the mom was short, fat, and dirty. Then, there were 2 kids. One was a fat kid with an afro (he was half white/half black) and the other kid was a spitting image of the dad but probably around the age of 6. I just assumed the afro kid was hers for a previous marriage or affair or something. Anyway, usually I don't tend to actively stare at people in public but I promise, if you were there too, you would have stared. Anyway, the thing I noticed was this family was really quiet. I mean, they just weren't talking to each other. It was weird. So, the little boy was just sitting in his seat, eating his burger, and kicking his feet in the air. He was being really good. All of the sudden, the dad lifts up his hand in the air, like he's going to back hand him. BACK HAND him. A 6 year old. So, I look over, and I see him mumbling something to this kid with his back hand (aka pimp hand) raised to him. The little kid looked like he was going to shit his pants and promptly stopped eating and kicking. At that point, I told Chris that we had to go, quickly. I don't understand why people beat their kids. Why would you threaten to backhand your 6 year old?? Can someone PLEASE tell me? Anyway, after we left we continued our journey to Columbia.

When we got to my sister's place, she was there with a study group for physics. When I walked in, I could have sworn she was studying with William Hung, but then I realized it was just a kid that looked like him. OH well. My sister was cracking the study whip on all of them, and they told me after 6 hours of studying, they didn't want to do it anymore. I liberated them and told them to rebel against my evil sister. My sister later reported to me that they did indeed rebel. YAY FOR THEM!

We finally arrived at my grandma's around 10ish. My grandma lives in BFE aka Warsaw. No, not Poland, but Missouri. Anyway, it was pretty uneventful then on out. We did get to "meet" my mom's new dog, Puppy. She's a Boston Terrier. She is so hyper, I mean, it's bad. You can't even get this dog to sit still while you pet it. It's so playful and hyper and like...clucked out. If the dog was really a human, you'd think it was on drugs.

Saturday we didn't do much. Actually, I don't remember doing anything. Wait, yes. We went to Wal-Mart Super Center because I needed supplies to make my famous carrot cake. This Wal-Mart in Warsaw is brand spankin' new. So, it was a mad house. And, it was raining. I almost got into several wrecks...IN THE PARKING LOT. The freaking parking lot people. People would not stop at the end of aisles like they're supposed to. So, we finally get into Wally World, and it's a zoo. People are some times really inconsiderate of other people when shopping. That's when I start getting mad. Finally, I just got so pissed off, I started bumping people with my cart and I didn't even feel bad about it. So, we finally got our supplies and got the hell out of there. When we got back to my grandma's, I made my cake and then we just kinda vegged out on the couch.

Saturday night, for some reason, sucked. We couldn't sleep, my mom kinda made a scene because my sister made her turn off the TV. She then came into our room and asked if she could watch TV in there. We said fine for a while, but then when we got ready to sleep, she got upset because we told her we were turning off the TV, so she started crying. (For those of you who don't know, back in Sept. my mom had a "incident" and went into cardiac arrest, almost died, has brain damage, had a feeding tube, was in ICU for about 3 months and it was just really horrible. So, needless to say, she's still not quite right and still has brain damage) Anyway, she just started crying and after that, we couldn't really get to sleep. Sometime during the night, we did fall asleep though.

This morning, when we woke up, my grandma made breakfast (which was very good) and then we went to church with my mom. OH MY. Let me say it again. OH MY. Okay, I am Lutheran. And, I mean, I like to praise God, but I am not Baptist. At all. I'm Lutheran. I'll say it again, I'm Lutheran. So, we end up at this tiny little Baptist church not far from my grandma's house, in Warsaw. In the woods. Okay, so I've never really laughed so hard in church that I embarrassed myself. That was before today. We walked in, in the middle of Sunday school. They apparently hold Sunday School in the chapel. So, there were about 7 people there...all like old hoosiers. Which, is fine. It's church, ya know? So, the service finally starts, and the "Praise Singers" and the "Breakfast Brothers" start singing. Yes, I said "Breakfast Brothers". They are a group of 5 men who apparently go to different churches on Saturday mornings and sing. I use that term loosely...sing. IT WAS BLOODY AWFUL. Horrible. I looked at my mom, then at my sister, and we just busted up laughing. We totally couldn't contain our laughter. It was bad. Finally, we got it under control. A few minutes later, we look up, and see this girl in front of us who is wearing a prom dress that is about 3 sizes too big for her, with a t shirt under it. UHhhh.. WTF? It was a prom dress from the early 90's with the off the shoulder, shoulders. It was so funny that I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. I poked my sister and held it together long enough to point and say "What is up with THAT?" At that point, my sister lost it, we were actually laughing OUT LOUD....IN CHURCH. About that time, the preacher (who was wearing suspenders and didn't know how to use the proper grammar when speaking) started reading "the word". We seriously couldn't stop laughing. We just laughed and laughed and tried to stop, but couldn't. Chris was so pissed at us. He just kept looking at us like "shut the fuck up!" Which, is weird because he totally hates going to church, so I just naturally assumed he'd be laughing too. Anyway, at the end of the service, we get up quickly to leave, but are bombarded by the regulars who want to 'meet' us. So, the preacher introduces himself and asks Chris where we are from. Chris says "St. Louis" and his reply is "Oh, that's great! I have a friend who lives in St. Louis on Copper Street!" Uhhhh. OKayyyyy....Chris just smiles and nods and my mom, sister and I practically tear the door off trying to run out before we really bust out laughing. We get in the car and just cut loose. It was bad. Chris got in the car and yelled at us, and we just laughed at him. Do people in the country really think that St. Louis is so small that we know where "Copper Street" is? I dunno. I know it's wrong, I really do, but there is something about small town people that I just cannot deal with. I never want to live in the country. Ever.

So anyway, we get back to my grandma's and my aunt comes over, we eat, visit and leave. (Finally) I slept pretty much the whole way home. When we got home, we frantically showered to get the cigarette smell off of us, then went out to dinner. After dinner, I tried to go to the grocery store, but realized even grocery workers need Easter off. BLAH. I need groceries!

I hope you enjoyed my account of my weekend. There are many other thoughts I had, but I'm too ashamed that I would even think those thoughts, I don't want to write them down. Being in the country does weird things to me. I get mean. ROAR.

This week should be fairly busy. Lots of appointments (doctor and other things) and lots to do at work.
I guess I should stop typing now. I feel like I've been sitting here typing for 30 minutes. Actually, it's been 35. Sheesh. I think I'm going to watch the Soprano's now then go to bed or something.

I am so glad to be home. So, so glad.