Turkey!

Bowling starts tomorrow. I'm sooo excited to lead my team to another suck ass victory. We have new shirts this year. When they come in, I will take a picture.

I've been busy obsessing over my mom and finding ways to keep myself busy, such as mopping my floor multiple times, baking cupcakes multiple times, washing dishes when I have a dishwasher, and Magic Erasing scuff marks around my house. As far as my mom goes, she is MIA. Well, not completely. She called my Grandma to tell her that she made it "ok" to Montana. She claimed she was going to Montana with her drug dealer to look for dinosaur bones. My Uncle said he felt relieved that she called because she said she'd be gone for 2 weeks. My response was the following:

Great! She can make meth and smoke it too!

I'm so sick of being constantly worried that I'm going to get another phone call from the ER telling me my mom's had an "accident." Do you know what it's like to deal with that sort of shit? It sucks. I'm not supposed to deal with shit like this. It's just not fair. I shouldn't cry at the thought of my mom. I shouldn't have to worry about my sister being so upset that she kills a patient. I shouldn't have to turn the radio off in the car because everytime a song comes on that talks about parents or love or daughters or drugs because it makes me cry. I hate this. I'm sorry that all I seem to talk about lately is how upset I am. I hate blogging about it, but I don't know how else to express it. I'm getting some referrels for therapists, but until I find one, this is all I've got. Did I mention that I hate crying? I hate it. I'm tough and mean and should not cry. But, when it comes to my mom..I can't help it.

Well, that's about it. I'm doing shit at work that I never thought I'd do. I'm waiting for my books to get here so I can start on my homework early. (Who ever thought THAT would happen?) I'm making list after list after list of things I need to do, buy, fix, throw away, sell, etc etc etc. I'm trying to focus on things that take my mind off my own reality. Thank goodness my subdivision is trying to raise our sub fees again. At least it gives me something to be pissed off about besides the obvious.

So that's it. Oh, and if you're out and about Friday, Beffa's on Olive is having a happy hour and donating 1/2 the proceeds to my work's United Way effort. Stop by if you're in the area.

Oh, and one more thing. I got the final nail in the coffin today regarding getting my tat removed. Not only do I have purple, but it's on my ankle. Fuckity fuck.

And with that, I'm out.